My "recovery" was pretty easy, I went into this thinking I was going to be miserable and in all reality I haven't been. The first week was slightly challenging because I decided to quit taking Ultram cold turkey and to prevent me from having withdrawal symptoms they put me on clonidine and buspar (for anxiety). Three days of being a zombie we discovered the clonidine was trying to kill me. I already am on a strong blood pressure medicine on top of a medicine they use for withdrawal symptoms is also used for high blood pressure. So my blood pressure was bottoming out, made me sleepy. I felt like a walking zombie. Even after quitting the clonidine, I battled with a little bit of anxiety the first few weeks. The second week into going cold turkey off of pain killers I had taken for over five years, my daughter left with my sister and her fiance to go on vacation 14 hours away from me. The following day after she left my fiance left to go visit family for the weekend. I was anxious and scared, my baby is gone 14 hours away from me and my fiance and I had a huge blow out not even a week prior. I learned a lot that weekend he was gone. I learned its ok to spend time apart. I learned that I have to stop sweating the small things. I learned that we all have insecurities. Even men, they just don't show them like women do.
However it's now been almost 2 months and I am doing great. I love that I am finally back to me. I love keeping my house clean now. I learned to live life again. That is something I am extremely proud of.
Always remember someone who becomes addicted to something did make the choice to take the "drug", mine were given to me by a doctor. Others get addicted to street drugs. But before judging someone who becomes what people view as an addict. That yes they chose to take it but they didn't chose to become an addict. Before judging as well remember it can happen to anyone at any given time.
That's pretty much all I have for an update.
Enjoy!!!
Diedra
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