Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry, what's your definition of that one guys? 

I think my thoughts on sibling rivalry is like most others. It's where you have two or more children who get along only a handful of times because the other times they are fighting. I mean some of my kids fights get down right dirty. We are talking some wrestling smack downs up in this house. Well maybe not blood and broken bones but my kids are like anyone else's kids they get along then they don't get along. 

These photos that I made into my own little collage using PICCOLLAGE was from a few years back. But these two pictures show the love and their personalities toward one another.  (I have an IPhone 5c and I downloaded the app PICCOLLAGE shortly after getting my phone two years ago. I have tried other collage apps but I always come back to PICCOLLAGE. It's free to download and use for the most part. There are like other apps in app purchases of you chose to purchase.  But I believe I had the app on my android as well. Awesome app. Try it out guys. 

Anyways back to sibling rivalry, I came across a blog post talking about their relationship with her brother who was years older. The girl is actually a friend of mine on Facebook an instagram. And if she ever comes by this post and give me permission I will include her blog. I don't like giving out people's information without permission. I know her sister in law. But Boy oh boy can I relate to that, I haven't ever really talked a lot about my sibling which by the way is a girl. So thought I'd start. I can relate to my friends post about sibling rivalry from having a sibling a lot older because well my sister is eight years older than me. Growing up we didn't have the best relationship, don't really think we had one at all. Not because we didn't love each other but growing up as a child with a little sister that is still into going outside and playing and you can drive at this point in life, y'all really only have two things in common (your both female and share the same parents). I am the Baby, she is the first born, we both share a special place in our parents heart. But I was the annoying little sister that wouldn't leave my big sister alone. But we never really had any rivalry. Here's why, my sister like stated before is eight years older. My sister got pregnant at a young age, she was 16, and shortly after having my niece {who by the way just turned 22 on July 20th} got married. So pretty much from the time I was nine years old, I was the only child to live at home.  

Now fast forwarding a few year well technically a lot of years. My sister and I didn't start getting close until I was 19 and she was 27. The reason being because up until then I was a high schooler. She was a grown woman, two kids, husband and a home. 

The turnaround point in are relationship was because at 19 years old, Jan of 2005, I found out I was pregnant and hid my pregnancy until June 2005.  We had stuff to talk about then, we had adult things, mommy things, even to this day tho we are close but we don't get into detail about our sex lives like most sisters do.  

But now we do have sibling rivalry, we are night and day. We bicker and fight but then everything is alright. She's my backbone. She's one of my best friends. I tell her things I don't just tell anyone. She's my protector. I am hers. When we can be. 

Another emotion we share is sadness. When she's sad, I am. When she's hurt so am I. Today we felt that sadness together. Last night we found out a family friends dad wasn't doing good. For personal reason I won't go into detail as to whom. But this morning she called me crying because our friends dad had passed so suddenly. She heard our family friend break down in tears and emotional sadness and it broke her down too. 

So sibling rivalry, have you ever experienced at a different time in life besides when your younger? 

Leave a comment let me know. 

Now it's this MOMMAS bed time. 

Y'all come back ya hear!

Love always sincerely, 

Diedra Nichole

Depression

Considering the recent death of Robin Williams, depression seem to be a good topic.

Depression isn't just a take a pill feel better kind of disease. Depression controls your life. EVERY aspect of it.  Everyone handles it different. People struggle years with it. In Williams case it got the very best of him.  In my case I healed. But it was a strong struggle. I advocate on depression. I help a lending hand, I sit and talk to people. Why? Because when I was 20 years old I struggled with  postpartum depression.  I myself often heard the question Why? To this day I couldn't tell you why. I had a brand new beautiful red head little girl, a family that supported me, and I has friends come in left and right. So why be depressed?  Depression is a disease/ illness that takes over your mind in my opinion. It's like it trains your thoughts to think these off the wall things. It makes you feel worthless. All I wanted to do was die. Also with PPD not all people want the child dead. In my case I never had thoughts oh hurting my child but my thoughts were wanting me dead. I hated life and the medicine doesn't take the pain away. It numbs it but everything is still there in the morning when you wake up. 

I struggled for a year nearly with this to the point I was being diagnosed with postpartum blues.  My end was in sight. My parents suggested counseling. I did counseling for nearly a month and half. I got all a long what I needed and that was a stranger to just listen and understand what I was feeling wasn't truly what I wanted to feel. She gave me advice on healing not her opinion.  Truthfully that's all someone wants is someone to listen not someone to tell them oh your fine you'll feel better in a few days. Because in reality that's what you wanted but your mind fought you. I didn't ask for this to take over me. I had a daughter for almost a year I missed her life because I struggled with this crippling disease/illness.  My daughter turn one. My healing began. I put everything in Gods hand. I'll never forget that feeling of that prayer. I told God that I have fought hard for something for a year now. It was then I started to heal. I started to see the light and day. My purpose was to be a mom. She was and still is my life along with her little brother.

My beautiful little red head will be 9 years old in just a matter of days. I haven't missed a beat of her life since healing from PPD. I never want to have to struggle with that. I never want to have to miss out on my children's life because my body and mind controlled every aspect of my life. I wanted to be free and after time I was free.

For those that have never gone through depression and I mean full blown depression please don't judge those who have. Instead lend a helping hand, lend an ear.  Don't face them with your problems give them your shoulder to lean on. Because you will be really surprised to find out exactly what just being there for someone can do for them.

Robin Williams, committed suicide, but in the end he wasn't in his right mind. Depression took over, the wandering thoughts of being dead got the best of him.

If you or anyone that you know is suffering from depression there is help out there.  When time permitting I will find the hot line numbers.

But in the mean time, if you just need someone to listen who has gone through it please shoot me an email.

dedep2013@hotmail.com