I've Come To A Temporary Decision

I love blogging and find enjoyment doing it. I also find enjoyment in reaching out and helping others through things I've gone through or goimg through. I have an Instagram @hopeandlifeafteralll that tells a little about some of my struggles with mental illness and once addiction. I have spoke on getting a blog started to follow with that account and leave this for my occasionally chaotic life but have made a temporary decision that I am going to blog just on this account about everything.

One of my reasoning is as I'm sure you can see I have struggled with posting regular and for 2019 I wanted to make it a mission to change that, so instead of adding another blog account I want to focus on posting here more regular.

My other reason is because my struggles and my past addiction is apart of my chaotic life. At times its the reason I've struggled with consistency on my blog. 

With all that said, I hope you enjoy more from me and my chaotic life. Because a mother of a teenager and one hitting double digits next month, who both have different personalities and a fiance of seven years I definitely have stories to tell.

So if you like buckle up (or ya don't have to buckle up) and enjoy my Occassionally Chaotic Life that even with the struggles I love.

Sincerely The Occasionally Chaotic Mom,
Diedra

Lets Talk Opinions

In this day in time it seems people have become so uptight when it comes to opinions.  People are experiencing fear among their own thoughts and beliefs. This world is so full of hatred that we can't even share our own opinions on our own beliefs without being fearful of being ridiculed.

Well we all have our own opinions and we shouldn't fear sharing them.

I have many topics I can't wait to share with you all but first I want to bring forth my opinion on the partial government shutdown.

I totally agree with "building" a wall to stop more illegal immigrants coming into American. I, however, dont agree with the government shutdown. Here is why, and totally my own outlook an opinion on it. Yes, I do know people who agree with me.

There are many Americans who work these government jobs that arent getting paid to do so.

Cutting off funding for food stamps and WIC is absurd.  No, I am not oblivously naive to the fact people do abuse the systems. But not everyone does. There are genuine people who work and bust there asses that need the extra help. There are elderly people who busted their asses working to now need extra help just to get by.  WIC help feed babies. Do I feel babies will starve, no but before its all said and done if the shutdown last it will hurt everyone economically. 

I also feel if the "illegal immigrants" are already in the states by work visa most likely, they have maintain that visa and are still doing things the right way, and/or have made a family here, should not be deported. That they should be given a legitimate chance to obtain citizen ship. 

Again even thought I dont agree with how things are being down doesnt mean I hate our president.  I do NOT agree with some things that are being said about him, toward him, or Even his family. No matter the hatred or disagreement you have against anyone, should not make you a cyber bully. Because that is what it is, cyber bullying.

Again my own opinions.

I plan on hoping way sooner than later making a post solely on food stamps. Because although government assitance comes in all kinds a ways. The food stamp topic in itself is the worse. Before endimg this to begin that post I will say that in the last few years I have never seen so many people come out of the woodwork (internet hiding, keyboard warriors, as Ive seen since the day Trump was elected president. As well as in the last week alone I have never seen so many judgemental people as I have in literally the last six days.

Again these are my opinions. .
Love you all

Diedra

What's Ahead For 2019?

Resolutions, I don't like making them to be honest.  I feel like a lot of times its just a New year tradition that it started way back when and people got accustom to have resolutions. Therefor,  I don't really have a resolution but things I want to improve or things I'd love to achieve with the mindset that if I don't achieve them; that its ok. 

That leads me into what's ahead for 2019, things that I may achieve before 2020 but won't beat myself up if I don't.   It may have a lot but somethings can tie into each other.

2019 I want to:
* Get Organized; because lets face it I try so hard to "be" organized but in reality I live within a very cluttered mind.
*Let go of things I can not control.
* I want to start Vlogging & blogging more. (Which I know I have mention a few post back about starting a new one that strictly focuses around mental illness. Well I'm hoping to get that going soon, maybe tomorrow get it up and running. But lets face it, I havent had a chance to start it due to the holidays.)
* Be more adventurous
*More Date nights with Ken(I want to strive for one every month)
* Girls night (ya know, we all grow up and have families of our own)
* more one on one time with my kids and together with both.

Those are just a few things, I have more that I've wrote down in my planner, so I will add more when I get to it.

You may ask about why the two blogs, well because when starting this one I wanted to focus around things that was more family and lifestyle. But in the last two years I have experience a lot from my mental illness even to this day  and feel that by sharing my stories through, addiction, anxiety, depression, and sobriety that it will show and help others in knowing there is Hope And Life After All. So stay tuned my friends. We have winter weather moving in and well I don't like winter to begin with but when ya throw in an icy mix, I turn into a homebody.

Anyways, its way past my bedtime, well kind of because bedtime is different for me every night.

So share your New Year thoughts, things you want to approve, or if you make a resolution. Tell me....

Love
Diedra

Chaotically Busy

This time of year gets busy for us with all the holidays.  From the first week of October to January we stay so busy. But since literally the moment I woke up Friday December 13th, I've been on go go go and its December 17th.
December 13th ran errands for my parents and I. Then Brayden had his Winter Wonderland Dance 2018 at the same time as Ken's work Christmas Party.  Luckily they let us drop Brayden off 20 mins early so we could get to Ken's party. Which by the way was extremely awesome. We won a Keurig, $100, a tape measure, and a few other things.  My sister picked up Ryleigh from my parents, then Brayden from the dance. Once we got home we got the kids ready for bed after letting them tell us about their night. On top Saturday the 14th, Brayden ended up staying up ALL night. If you don't know Brayden has ADHD and Autism, sometimes with the ADHD medicine causes insomnia. So usually on Friday nights we let him go to bed when he wants to even though we still give him melatonin to help him fall asleep.  But this particular night we were out, so he stayed up all night and On Saturday, when I woke up I ran to town to run my mom a few errands, and when I got back to her house he was completely PASSED out. Meaning he missed his schools parade, so once I got home after that, we got ready and went to watch the Christmas parade that Ryleigh was in. It was FREEZING and began getting colder.  We went back to my parents, because not sure if I have really posted this about my dad being sick. But my fiance helps him get out of the bath tub, he can get in and wash himself but has trouble getting out.  So while doing that I had to get stuff from Walmart for my parents so I took Brayden, Cody (Ryleigh's Boyfriend, yes boyfriend), and Ryleigh to walmart with me and let Brayden spend his $4.00, I ended up added money to him getting a tamagotchi. Then once we got home we all got ready for bed, well once we drop Cody off, BECAUSE, the following day, Sunday December 16th, we headed to our family Christmas Party. Which was awesome, just the drive sucked. But it was worth it to get away from home for a little bit. 

Today is the 19th and has been the first time that I have been home since Friday and got to do anything. Mainly because my car won't start. But God has a way of showing us we have to slow down. 

However, I am still working on getting a blog up for my new Instagram name, HOPEANDLIFEAFTERALL but having difficulties. May work on that a little later but now gotta finish this house. 

I've Made A Decision

For months now something has weighed heavy on my heart, after months of thought processing I have decided that I am finally gonna do what I feel I was put on this earth to do.

I want to help people who have struggled/ struggles with mental illness and addiction.

I want people who do struggle with mental illness that its ok not to be ok. Its ok to get help.

I took my first step last night and started an Instagram page called Hope & Life After All. However, I will keep this blog for you guessed it our crazy chaotic lives. But within the next few weeks will start a new blog to go with my Instagram page. Once up and running I will post the links with this blog.

My hope is for one day that mental illness doesn't make a person feel ashamed.

2019 is gonna be my year.
2019 is gonna the year that finally shines light on people being a human. 

I'm declaring now in Jesus Name 2019 will be my year.

Love Always,

The Occassionally Chaotic Mom

Diedra

So Today Is National Boyfriend Day!!

So I have seen all over social media today that it's national boyfriend day.  Well, I have a fiance does that count. He means the absolute world to me, even on days when I feel my worse.   Let me tell you what he is all about, he's a very kind a loving man to walk into a relationship almost seven years ago and take on a roll as a boyfriend but a father figure.  When getting with me, I am  a package deal, I had two small children at the time by previous relationships.  He didn't care, he came into this relationship with knowledge of these two kids and now almost seven years later you couldn't tell him they weren't his children.  He selflessly gets up for work everyday to provide for his family. We recently have been through a lot with me coming off pain medicine because I was once addicted but he loved me through it and love conquered all. I am thankful for this man, to love me to no end. He's a wonderful person and it would take me hours to tell you everything. 


Always remember when you have someone like Ken in your life, don't let it slip away because the love he shows me daily is rare. It's true love, we get on one anothers nerves but we fight for what is ours. That's each other.

I love you Kenneth Robert

Thank You for Loving me.

It Was Pretty Easy

My "recovery" was pretty easy, I went into this thinking I was going to be miserable and in all reality I haven't been.  The first week was slightly challenging because I decided to quit taking Ultram cold turkey and to prevent me from having withdrawal symptoms they put me on clonidine and buspar (for anxiety).  Three days of being a zombie we discovered the clonidine was trying to kill me. I already am on a strong blood pressure medicine on top of a medicine they use for withdrawal symptoms is also used for high blood pressure. So my blood pressure was bottoming out, made me sleepy.  I felt like a walking zombie.  Even after quitting the clonidine, I battled with a little bit of anxiety the first few weeks.  The second week into going cold turkey off of pain killers I had taken for over five years, my daughter left with my sister and her fiance to go on vacation 14 hours away from me. The following day after she left my fiance left to go visit family for the weekend. I was anxious and scared, my baby is gone 14 hours away from me and my fiance and I had a huge blow out not even a week prior.   I learned a lot that weekend he was gone. I learned its ok to spend time apart. I learned that I have to stop sweating the small things. I learned that we all have insecurities. Even men, they just don't show them like women do. 

However it's now been almost 2 months and I am doing great. I love that I am finally back to me. I love keeping my house clean now. I learned to live life again. That is something I am extremely proud of. 

Always remember someone who becomes addicted to something did make the choice to take the "drug", mine were given to me by a doctor.  Others get addicted to street drugs. But before judging someone who becomes what people view as an addict. That yes they chose to take it but they didn't chose to become an addict.  Before judging as well remember it can happen to anyone at any given time.  

That's pretty much all I have for an update. 

Enjoy!!!

Diedra