Where To Start

It is now the first day of October. I have not posted a blog since February but for good reason.  As most know I have had a lot going on since last year. From being addicted to a certain pain killer to learning to live life again without having to make myself high to do so.  But since February 2019 my life has been everything but simple and easy.  In April Ken and I had one of the biggest fights we have ever had. I will leave it at that out of respect for him and our relationship. However, since then I have battled with my health especially mental health severally.  I will say pretty much the summer was pretty decent, normal summer besides Ken not working but we survived.  Fast forward to September,  I know my body, I have struggled since I was 12 years old with my thyroid. I have a under active thyroid. For six and half years tho, I have been on the same script mcg. My body stop responding. But by September I got to the point I found absolutely no joy in anything. Like I was back to doing bare minimum to survive. I had brain fog like none other. Half the time not remember where I put my keys.  So I spoke with my doctor after not seeing her since April.  She couldn’t do anything with my thyroid meds because previously my levels came back normal (they’ve come back just in the normal range since having Ryleigh).  Therefor she was worried tho because I do have a goiter and now have a knot above the goiter that’s tender. Now I have to have an ultrasound done.  She put me on a generic form of Zoloft.  I went to the doctor on a Thursday and by Monday they were calling me that indeed my thyroid medicine wasn’t responding.  For almost two weeks I have been on Zoloft and a week and a few days have been on a new mcg of thyroid medicine.  But I really can tell a change. I’m getting my spark back. When I say I lost joy in anything, I even lost joy in keeping up with my planner. Well today I order my new Erin Condren planner and some Etsy stickers and ya girl can not wait to dive in. I also have been wanting to clean more and do things more. I’ve been a lot more active than I have been in a very long time and I hope that it stays this way. 

With all that being said, I am wanting to really dive back into blogging. Even if it’s just simply about our day. I am not going to make  quarented posting schedule but ya girl is going to try and back to what she loves to do. I am also gonna go through and clean up my blog some. My website isn’t extremely fancy but hoping once we get a computer back in our home can get all that set up. 

I hope those that have taken time out to visit the Occassionally Chaotic Mom understands why I’ve been gone but sticks around for more things to come. 

Also to remember you know your body better than anyone. Don’t stop fighting to feel better.

Thanks For Stopping By, 

The Occassionally Chatic Mom, 

Diedra

Triggers

Not talking about a gun trigger.

Lets talk mental health triggers and triggers for myself that are out of my control.

Lets be real if you suffer with mental illness almost always there is a trigger that you are aware on top of a chemical imbalance. Over time though you may develop more than one trigger.  I use to numb mine with an addiction to pain medicine but being sober I have come to learn what can trigger it.

I often thought that I had general anxiety disorder but in reality I suffer with just anxiety. The only difference between the two is time. My anxiety "flares"up is how I like to describe it. It flares up during very stressful moments or situations in my life.  Whereas to be diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, its the definition of anxiety but lasting 6 months or more. It took me years to realize that my anxiety triggers weren't just my kids. Because I do develop anxiety over my kids situations, the worry wart in me comes out to play.  But stress, I have stress related anxiety. During very difficult stress filled situations my anxiety flares up. These are two triggers that I solely only deal with that are out of my control.  I do have my occasional anxious feelings but for the most part during these times are just things that could have been avoided.

Avoid stress most people say but that isn't always the case. For example its the time of the year and the very month (February) my fiance gets laid off some. Leaving some of his checks short. Therefor, it becomes stressful to me because February is a short month with the same bills, on top of Valentines day and our sons birthday. Its stress I can't avoid even though I know it will happen and know February will always exist and I can't skip over it, so I cant avoid it the stress. Its almost like the fear of the unknown. Stress of knowing we have bills to pay (they come first), a birthday(well of course I wouldnt ever not buy my kids something for their birthdays), and a holiday (no we don't have to buy for but we do and we don't go over board, candy'stuff animal, & two balloons from dollar tree) to pay for.

Now the things I do to help alleviate the anxiety are different and a few things that I do to help lighten the stress will be up on a different post.

Do you suffer with anxiety? If so do you know what or have you learned your triggers?

With all that being said, I do know people that suffer with anxiety that have never figured out or can't pin point what may be triggering it. As well as I know there are people who are just full of themselves and want someone to feel sorry for them their for they use anxiety as an excuse to gain attention. Which sucks because it makes it hard for people who does suffer with it hard to understand.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, have questions, just ask.

The Occassionally Chaotic Mom,

Diedra