Where To Start

It is now the first day of October. I have not posted a blog since February but for good reason.  As most know I have had a lot going on since last year. From being addicted to a certain pain killer to learning to live life again without having to make myself high to do so.  But since February 2019 my life has been everything but simple and easy.  In April Ken and I had one of the biggest fights we have ever had. I will leave it at that out of respect for him and our relationship. However, since then I have battled with my health especially mental health severally.  I will say pretty much the summer was pretty decent, normal summer besides Ken not working but we survived.  Fast forward to September,  I know my body, I have struggled since I was 12 years old with my thyroid. I have a under active thyroid. For six and half years tho, I have been on the same script mcg. My body stop responding. But by September I got to the point I found absolutely no joy in anything. Like I was back to doing bare minimum to survive. I had brain fog like none other. Half the time not remember where I put my keys.  So I spoke with my doctor after not seeing her since April.  She couldn’t do anything with my thyroid meds because previously my levels came back normal (they’ve come back just in the normal range since having Ryleigh).  Therefor she was worried tho because I do have a goiter and now have a knot above the goiter that’s tender. Now I have to have an ultrasound done.  She put me on a generic form of Zoloft.  I went to the doctor on a Thursday and by Monday they were calling me that indeed my thyroid medicine wasn’t responding.  For almost two weeks I have been on Zoloft and a week and a few days have been on a new mcg of thyroid medicine.  But I really can tell a change. I’m getting my spark back. When I say I lost joy in anything, I even lost joy in keeping up with my planner. Well today I order my new Erin Condren planner and some Etsy stickers and ya girl can not wait to dive in. I also have been wanting to clean more and do things more. I’ve been a lot more active than I have been in a very long time and I hope that it stays this way. 

With all that being said, I am wanting to really dive back into blogging. Even if it’s just simply about our day. I am not going to make  quarented posting schedule but ya girl is going to try and back to what she loves to do. I am also gonna go through and clean up my blog some. My website isn’t extremely fancy but hoping once we get a computer back in our home can get all that set up. 

I hope those that have taken time out to visit the Occassionally Chaotic Mom understands why I’ve been gone but sticks around for more things to come. 

Also to remember you know your body better than anyone. Don’t stop fighting to feel better.

Thanks For Stopping By, 

The Occassionally Chatic Mom, 

Diedra

It Isn't Always Easy

Afternoons like today forever just leave a hole in my heart. Because my son has been acting out at school, this is the second time in less than a week. Yes as parents no matter his diagnosis we discipline him and he gets punished for his wrong doings. Today was no different he got punished for being disrespectful, which like the other day lead into an emotional roller coaster of all the emotions thrown together.  But both times after going through the emotions and telling every little lie he could to justify him being disresepctful the one thing that didn't change is how heartbroken, frustrated, and feeling like he is ready to give up and quit school in the 4th grade because in his words "He can't keep up, he's struggling!" He struggles in math and he knows it, in return the only emotion he knows how to express is frustration. He is seeing a counselor for play therapy. Which due to holidays and the doctor facility changing to a new provider scheduling has been messed up and he hasn't seen her since the end of november. I'll update ya more after Tuesday when we see his primary physician.  But its the hardest thing for me as a parent to see my child break down and hate school because of math.  It kills me.

If you are new an unaware my son is Autistic (only affects him socially) and ADHD which is why he struggles in math because a focusing issue.

Here are a few more post on Braydens diagnosis.

One
Two

With all that being said if you have ever dealt with a child who is Autistic and has ADHD then you will understand what I mean by overstimulated.  Due to being extremely overstimulated today, its nearly one in the morning even with his nightly dose of melatonin that was given roughly around 7 p.m. he just fell asleep a few minutes ago. But doesnt mean hes sound asleep he could get up 3 or 4 more times.

I will say I struggle with him and my other child, Ryleigh. I will being doing a update on her as well.

I want to add a disclaimer. I wouldn't trade this life with anyone. I love both my children for who they are and accept them for who they are. I also with or without a diagnosis will not tolerate them being disrespectful to adults. Because we struggle at home with the normal teenager/preteen disrespect. They get put in their place. I do have my opinions on certain situations and I do and have seen with my own eyes that children with disabilities get craddled and I have witness parents say my child can't help it they are autistic and they have ADHD.  Yes, I do understand a child who is fully on the spectrum does things differently.  But I also know in our experience you have to make them do things that sometimes they don't wanna do. Why? Because with or without a diagnosis they are still human.

Now Lord be with me that I get some restful sleep in the next 4 hours because I gotta be up to take my momma two to three hours away from home depending on traffic and if she closes her eyes so I can go three miles over the speed limit.

Goodnight y'all!!!
The Occassionally Chaotic Mom
Diedra