He Got In Trouble For Exactly What?

The following  is a Facebook post that I made on September 8th, 2016...

 "After running errands today, I got home to realize Braydens folder was left on the table.  On his calender where we have to initial every night there was a very vague script in the previous days box stating, "missed recess for working ahead". Most of the time I'd have no problem with my child missing recess for something he's done wrong. I am all for you get in trouble, you do your punishment. But what I don't understand is Brayden still got in trouble and missed his recess for working ahead. Meaning they were doing a group worksheet. I may be wrong and forgive me if I am but I thought our children are being taught to be independent and work things out on their own. Anyone knows Brayden knows he's has to be moving or doing something. He is my busy body. Even with his AdHD medicine, he gets bored easily. Even some of their second grade work bores him. I feel he worked ahead because one he already knew the answers on top of it gave him something to do. I mean hell hes damned if he doesn't do it and damned if does!"

Yes, you read that right my child was punished for doing his work ahead. If you are a parent that cares about what goes on at school with your child you would have been heated as well with such a vague script of writing.  I would have understood more if the teacher wrote me a small note stating that she was teaching and kept telling him to pay attention but nothing of that was explained.

Well, Bray's weekly therapist is also his IEP therapist at school. When I got to her house a few days later to drop Brayden off for his weekly session she knew before I had even talked to someone at school about it. She said it was already handled.  Well about a week later the principle caught me there while picking up the kids for 8th hour, that she spoke with his teacher. What happened was they were in group. The leader of the group decided to tell everyone to work ahead. Brayden was following the leaders rules therefor, he worked ahead. The principle explained to the teacher not to punish him for working ahead because last we struggled to even get him to do any of his work.  Therefor, he isn't to be punished if he works ahead as long as he got it right. Basically if he worked ahead and he got them wrong then its the teachers discretion if he gets to do it over.

Before anyone says it, NO Brayden doesn't get special treatment because he has ADHD and a form of Autism. We are just scared that if he starts getting in trouble for doing his work even if it is ahead of the class. That he won't do his work at all. Because in first grade before getting his diagnosis we struggled at school and at home to get him to do anything.

Leave a comment below if you feel that any child should be punished for working ahead.

Love Always,

And Please come back,

Diedra

Pervasive Developmental Disorder

According to an article on WebMD website, Pervasive Developmental Disorders also known as PDDs, is referring to a group of conditions that involve delays in the development of many basic skills. Most notable among them are the ability to socialize with others, to communicate, and to use imagination. Children with these conditions often are confused in their thinking and generally have problems understanding the world around them. You can find the article here.

According to Brayden's therapist that helps him, PDDs is what they call an umbrella diagnosis.  Because under PDD falls the following categories; Autism, Asperger's Syndrome, Childhood disintegrative disorder, Rett Syndrome, and Pervasive development disorder, not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS).  Which if I am remembering correctly the PDD-NOS is what Brayden's pediatrician diagnosed him with because if you go back to the article on WebMD and read the description for Asperger's, Brayden falls under that category. However, things in the Autisic Spectrum have changed tremendously over the years and according to the Autism Center Therapist we seen on November 7th, there are no longer any subcategories. Which to me is confusing because the whole point we wanted him diagnosed through the Autism center was we were under the impression they would be able to clarify exactly where he fell on the spectrum. I mean to his school therapist (which is also his weekly visit therapist) and his pediatrician they have both stated in all the years of doing therapy and being doctor that Brayden has Asperger's.  That in a sense makes me happy because that is as parents what we want.  We wanted to know exactly where on the spectrum he fell, therefor we could get him the adequate therapy he needed. I mean honestly know he is getting adequate therapy. I will explain furthermore in another post about what therapy he is in.

Since Brayden now is seeing two therapist and possibly a counselor soon (still not sure why on that one because his behavior in a sense is normal to us. No bad behavior really) but I will call the first therapist, school therapist, and the new one Autistic Therapist.  You may question why I don't just say there names but then again if you put your brain to use you'd know I am trying to save the privacy of my children.

Questions from the Autistic therapist,  What made us decide to have him seen at the Autism Center? She then stated was it because his school therapist, school officials, and pediatrician told you too and you just went with it.

The answer to that is yes and no, Yes because treating the type of Autism Brayden has or has been stated that he has if treated early on in life. He can function as a normal child, teenager, and man with guidance. I hate using the word normal but the way I explained it to Ken when we were riding around for our five year anniversary. That from an early age as parents and when he came into the picture we knew there was something there. We knew there was some type of "illness is what its refer too". Therefor like school therapist stated hes young enough that he's like putty. He can absorb and be molded.

The No part of that answer is because when Brayden was a baby infant size, our pediatrician and their pediatrics office have always went over the "Autism Checklist", if I can find similar questions that I was asked I will give y'all examples. However, almost all the questions except maybe 2 Brayden fit. I was always told by his peds doctor that he was just a self dependent baby.  Then when I go with Ken over five years ago now.  Shortly after being together he mentioned to me about Brayden doing things just like a family member of his. Then  six months into our relationship we moved in together and he voiced his opinion again. I kept going back to what the pediatrician stated about his independence. Then when I worked in home health I believe by the grace of God to show me the light of things, I was placed with an Autistic Girl. The more time I spent with her the more I began thinking back to Brayden's infancy to at that point now.  That was also the year he was in Pre-K and the teacher noticed it even after you know we spoke our concerns with her about Brayden because we knew if anything would alter his capability to learning we wanted o get him help. Kindergarten was good. Then we made it to first grade. That's when things began to change.  Click here to go to the post about Brayden's Unfinished Diagnosis, it goes into more depth.  

Below are some signs of Pervasive Developmental Disordered that I found on WebMD. Here is where you can find them on WebMD.

1. Difficulty with verbal communication, including problems using and understanding language
2. Difficulty with non-verbal communication, such as gestures and facial expressions
3. Difficulty with social interaction, including relating to people and to his or her surroundings
4. Unusual ways of playing with toys and other objects
5. Difficulty adjusting to changes in routine or familiar surroundings
6. Repetitive body movements or patterns of behavior, such as hand flapping, spinning, and head banging
7. Changing response to sound; the child may be very sensitive to some noises and seem to not hear others.
8. Temper tantrums
9. Difficulty sleeping
10. Aggressive behavior
11. Fearfulness or anxiety

These are signs of someone who may be experiencing Pervasive Developmental Disorder. 

Again, if you like to read the whole article on WebMd, please go to this page.

Another good website to go to learn more about autism, is www.autismspeaks.org

Also when explain above about Brayden's pediatrician diagnosing him with PDD-NOS, here is a good article about that as well.  

Thank You so much for your interest about Autism and PDD. 
I am a beginner in all of this and learning new things as we go along. If you have any advice or just words of wisdom. Please comment below. Or you may email me at eichhorstdiedra@gmail.com

Sincerely Grateful, 

Diedra

Still feel lost....

Today was Brayden's interview with the local Autism Center.

In case you are nee and may not know exactly what has went on. Let me start out by explaining a brief summary as to  why we have ended up at the Autism Center.

       The most simplest answer of all is that Brayden has always had, have showed, and still shows signs of Autism. He has done this since he was a baby. I was always steered to believe he was a self dependent child at 6 months old.  If course I noticed it but never have been around a child or person that had autism. I had no clue anything about it. Once I got with Ken five years ago. From early on in our relationship he stated he showed signs of Aspergers. That he done similar if not the same things a family member of his does that has been diagnosed with Aspergers. (According to the lady today well that no longer exist.) From Pre- K to 1st grade the began to become more prominent and by the 1st grade we knew there was something. Because he wouldn't do his school work at school and it was a battle to even get him to attempted or even finish it at home. The pediatrician then diagnosed him with ADHD & PDD  (in more depth blog coming soon, because well it's 1:28 am dog tired but can't sleep. So why not get up and smoke right?)

        Anyways there's just a small summary or large summary of what has lead up to the interview from the Autism Center. 

      The appointment in which we have been on a waiting list now for over a year almost a year and half from the initial time we contacted the place.  Our appointment was at 1:30 p.m . and we were out of there by 3 pm. She talked to Brayden a lot but a lot of the focus was geared toward what I could remember. When did I started noticing things and such?  Therefor, the only answer she could really give me is that Autism is NO longer broken up. PDD no longer exist. Asperger's no longer exist. However, I feel that it may very on who you see. Because his pediatrician diagnosed him with PDD. Therefor, I am still lost, I still feel lost and confused if not more than before I went in there. The only thing she could quarentee me right now is that she isn't sure exactly what he has. She believes there is a chance that he is on the spectrum and if he is for sure on the spectrum. Which that confused me considering the sub titles, no longer exist. She kept stating she doesn't know exactly where on the spectrum he is. 

Anyhoo, he does have another appointment coming up in the next couple of weeks.  This appointment is suppose to be a 3 hour window of an appointment. But his IEP for school changed in May at the ending of the school year. Therefor, some of the testing that the Autism Center does, the school does as well, meaning there's a chance the appointment wont be nearly three hours.

Thanks for taking the time out to hear about my baby! :)

Love Always,

Diedra

Please Beware and Knowledgeable.

Please if all possible like my blog post before title "Why Do Kids Have To Be So Mean?" Education is the key factor in life. Doesn't have to happen in a classroom. Because everyday life is education.  Educate your children even if they don't have Autism about autism. Educate yourself about Autism. Because before really getting into doing research about Autism and all the signs of being the Autistic Spectrum. It wasn't until last year that my fiancé and I put two and two together and realized that some of the things that Brayden was doing during the summer last year was a sign of Autism. Chidlren with Autism (ASD) are extremely drawn to water. That explained a lot even though we drilled in to our children's head about our pool in the back yard when swimming Brayden was very drawn to it. Drawn to going under water or floating for a few minutes with his face in the water.  Accidental Drowning is the leading cause of death in children on the Autistic Spectrum all the way up to the age of 14.

If you are like us and have more than one child, but between the two only one of them are Autistic. You can't punish the whole family by not putting up the pool in fear of a child drowning. I mean even children without Autism can drown. That's why any child that isn't a grown adult should NEVER be left unattended in a pool. Even a kiddie pool, because it only takes a little bit of water to drown.

As following below will be a few types on owning and having a pool up during summer if you are family that has an Autistic child in the home. This could be useful tips for anyone, new to autism parents, new parents in general, and even foster/adoptive parents who may have never fostered or adopted a child who was on the autistic spectrum.

• Children with Autism aren't stupid. They are quite smart, they are also human and understand. PREACH it in their heads the SAFETY of the pool.
• If need be THREATEN them. For Example: I threatened my kids last year if they were caught anywhere near the pool without an adult supervision I would take them outside with me to watch me put a knife in the side of the pool multiple times.
• Explain to them every night before bed (this comes in handy when you have older children but not old enough to go swimming alone) more safety and the rules. For Example: Our Rules are as follows, If you get up before mommy does (because I am stay at home mom and here more with them) and then you ask, "What do you do?" My kids will answer wake mommy up. Even though neither one of them rarely do because they either jump in bed with me to watch TV or go into the living room with everything still locked up such as all the doors and watch Netflix.  Disclaimer: I very rarely sleep in when my kids are even home during the summer because I set my alarm to try and be up before they are or shortly after.
• Another question we go over is, Is anyone outside or even allowed to open the front door if mommy and in rare cases daddy is still in bed? (Again it very rarely happens) The kids will follow with No we are not allowed to open the front door or even go outside and if we do we are in trouble. Mommy will put a knife in the pool.

These things may get tiring to do and don't get me wrong at least the first month I go after these kids about the rules and safety of pools just like I do with gun safety. That's another blog in itself coming up maybe in a few days.  But once our pool is up and a month has went by they get into the routine of telling you the rules of the pool before bed.  They are human and need reminding no matter how simple it may be to you!

Before going I would like to leave you with a few safety tips.

• You want the pool accessible in case you are sitting outside the pool like I do most the time because our pool last year was a big pool but wasn't round enough. But you want it accessible in case something happens to a child and you don't have time to fly up the deck stairs. You can just jump over.
• Deck: we are in the process of getting our new pool and new deck up as we speak but this deck we will have it locked to where no one can get into it unless it's unlocked.
• Rules for kids in our pool: We don't mind the neighbor kids swimming, it gives our kids someone to swim with during the summer. However, we make rules and they apply for anyone that steps foot in our pool. 
• Rules we have made: ABSOLUTELY NO FIGHTING, First offense your in time out, since I am a giver of second chances, you have one more chance and if caught fighting in the pool you are out for the day. No "Pretend" drowning yourself or someone else. For Example: some of our boys that swam last year would always push someone's head under water. Finally after a week of not swimming while everyone else got to we gave him a chance and he quite doing it thereafter. 
• 
  

Remember when it comes to the safety of your children in a container filled with water. Rules must be consistent.

Thank you again for taking pool safety seriously for any child.

Always remember that an autistic child is extremely drawn to it.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day today!

Catch You All Later,

Diedra

Why Do You Have To Be So Mean?

Why are kids mean? I teach mine to like everyone no matter if they are or seem different. Brayden went to the ball field with me today because his practice for his was canceled. Brayden and a group of the boys his age were playing just fine all night. Right before the game ended because well that's a whole other situation. But it was late some of Braydens friends had left and older boys not by much came up to the dirt mound. Well as I was walking to go smoke as this game shot my anxiety up a Wii bit.  But I started yelling at Brayden to stop. A small Gatorade bottle of sand and water he was drinking and the boys were saying chug it chug it. I said who made you do it Brayden. Because Brayden has a  form of  Autism and it doesn't make him an idiot. He knew better. I asked again who made you do at first Brayden pointed at the boy in the orange shirt. He denied it but could tell on his face he wasn't telling the whole truth. Then the other boys denied it as well as Brayden this time. On the way home he confessed and said momma the boy in the orange told me if I drank it he'd be my friend. I just want friends to play with. Those that have read or know understand that the type of autism Brayden has affects him in a social aspect as well as language. My heart shatter. Why did that boy have to be so mean? Why? I can't explain to everyone that he has this and just wants friends. This sleeping handsome little boy just wants friends. He acts a little different but don't we all. And granted he does have friends. Best friends at that but meeting new people he feels he has to do whatever they say to be accepted by them.

To the mean little boy that I can't discipline for honestly being an asshole.  The little boy above is my little boy. I may be over protective and that mom that cares to much. (Trust me there are moms who care so much for their kids and some who don't.) but he's my little boy just like you are your moms little boy and I am sure if she knew that you were drinking dirt mixed with water that she'd be heartbroken to know that you done it to be social accepted. Because this momma was heartbroken. I am still heart broke . And will be until we can get Brayden the social help that's needed. In which he had his second appointment tomorrow. 

Please if all possible parents educate your children on the importance that not all children are the same. As well as educating them that some children that they feel act weird, or different than them may actually be different. As well as in our case may have Autism. Educate your children on Autism if your child doesn't have it.

This broken, heartbroken, tore down, shattered momma is heading to bed. 

Y'all come back

Diedra 

Brayden's Unfinished Diagnosis

In some of my post and even video's on our You Tube Channel (The Eichhorst Family), I have spoke of Brayden being diagnosed with Autism.  You may be wandering why I have made the title state that it's an unfinished diagnosis. Here's why.....

Brayden every since he was a little boy and when your in the doctor office as new born; first year of life checkup and they go over the "Autism Checklist" signs of Autism in your child. Brayden fit a lot of them to a T.  His doctor always felt he was just an independent child.  Few years go by and I get with Ken and we move in together. Ken has a family member that has Asperger's and I have friends that have family with the same diagnosis.  I have known since he was a little baby that he was my special baby. Well eventually life catches up with you and before you know it your "itty bitty" baby is now in Pre-school. I had spoke with the teachers the findings that Ken and I felt. But in pre-school the signs are almost what you would considered hidden. Because at that age unless the child is what they have called "Full Blown" Autistic. Brayden isn't and that is where the unfinished came from.  Well as a preschooler I had spoke with the speech therapist because I already knew her because of Ryleigh about some of the words he was pronouncing and how he was pronouncing them.  She was able to use some of his speech sounds and get him in speech therapy in preschool which a lot of times is very rare. She too, noticed the signs of "Asperger's". But that is all that was every really spoke of it. Therefor here comes Kindergarten. The signs were there but not as prominent.  There was one time that he felt out of his element and that was a day during a storm. He was so overstimulated by the thunder that he cut up his homework, wouldn't pay attention, couldn't focus, cut his crayons as well as cut his shirt. Later that night at home even cut his hair.  By now you are probably thinking then why is he not diagnosed with Autism if you and the teachers have noticed it.

Well here below I'll explain this year and what pushed us to work with the teachers, therapist, as well as his doctor to get him a diagnosis.

The first quarter of first grade Brayden was a straight A distinctive student.  By the first few weeks of second quarter EVERYTHING changed. Brayden begin not wanting to do his work. Not wanting any part of school, not wanting to do anything to do with school. He was what you would considered flunking the first grade because he wouldn't do his work but he knew all the answers.  Finally speaking with the speech therapist who also does other therapies such as working with Autistic children, finally voiced to me something needed to be done. And basically if his doctor wasn't going to take the time out to help us help him. That as a mother I needed to find a new one. Well at this point and seeing how at the time Brayden's issue was affecting school. That's when the doctor got on board. Especially after I told him that Brayden voiced to us that it isn't that he doesn't want to do his work, but sometimes his brain won't let his fingers right.  Finally on February 5th, 2016 Brayden was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder)  and PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder) Is that even Autism related? Yes it is! Well in our case it is.  It's basically a way for the pediatrician to give him an Autistic diagnosis without giving it an Autistic name. Basically because in most states an Autistic child has to be diagnosis officially by psychologist that specializes with Autism.    That is why his diagnosis is unfinished because we are waiting for the near by Autistic center to get him in. He is 39  on the list and the problem we have encountered is he more than likely with only one psychologist and the lengthiness of this test won't be seen before school starts back in August which is what we are aiming for. Just so he can start second grade fresh.  That's where his speech therapist comes into play this summer because she is going to be helping him with his language and social aspects over the summer. Just so he can start second grade with better socialization skills and in general start the year off better.


Now you may ask, As parents how have Ken and I dealt with this?  I haven't dealt with it easy. I have broke down and cried on extremely hard days. The days where I am with him all day and he has what is considered complete Autistic breakdowns.  He cries all day long, nothing makes him happy. As a mother you want to console him and he won't let you. Then when he does he is laying in your arms crying because he's trying to explain to you what is wrong but then says he doesn't know what is wrong.  His brain won't slow down long enough for him to know what is really making him cry.  Ken has dealt with it as in he has been supportive.  He has coped with it with me. Where ken works all day and if Brayden is home from school and it's just me and him (Brayden) I deal with everything by myself until Ken gets home. By then, I am on the verge of a breakdown. Ken is taking the load off of me trying to calm Brayden down. And as a father he hurts to not to be able to console his son. It's just been a difficult time for us. A trying journey as I call it.

Is Brayden being medicated? My thoughts? The first thing that I told the doctor is I understand that he needs something for the ADHD to help him focus. Help him stay on track. BUT, i'll be damned if in one day he is taking at 7 years old 15 different medications. I don't want my child a zombie. His doctor had to explain to me that BRAYDEN BRAIN is going 90 to nothing. I knew that. I also know that I don't want Brayden to turn out like his biological father. Basically meaning as a grown man his father didn't or couldn't function without some kind of medication.  In all honesty he was use to the HIGH of it. He was use to feeling numb to his surroundings. However, after trial and error twice. Brayden  found well we found a medication that WORKS. It helps him calm down as well as work with him to focus during school. I also don't have to give it to him on the weekends nor do I have to give it to him every day during the summer! That's a plus and helps the medication not to become addictive. Because it does have an addictive additive in it!

Anyways, if anyone has ANY questions please comment below and we will do our best to answer them. I am a busy mommy this time of year as my last blogged explained what would be going on! :)

Although this was quite a detailed blog post about Bray's unfinished diagnosis. It explains and gives and insight on him. If you would like to hear a shorter version of his unfinished diagnosis, head on over to our family you tube channel, THE EICHHORST FAMILY, and subscribe it's FREE.  As well as here is the video about Brayden's unfinished diagnosis spoken in my words.

Catch Y'all later! :)

Hope You All Enjoy!
Diedra