So Today Is National Boyfriend Day!!

So I have seen all over social media today that it's national boyfriend day.  Well, I have a fiance does that count. He means the absolute world to me, even on days when I feel my worse.   Let me tell you what he is all about, he's a very kind a loving man to walk into a relationship almost seven years ago and take on a roll as a boyfriend but a father figure.  When getting with me, I am  a package deal, I had two small children at the time by previous relationships.  He didn't care, he came into this relationship with knowledge of these two kids and now almost seven years later you couldn't tell him they weren't his children.  He selflessly gets up for work everyday to provide for his family. We recently have been through a lot with me coming off pain medicine because I was once addicted but he loved me through it and love conquered all. I am thankful for this man, to love me to no end. He's a wonderful person and it would take me hours to tell you everything. 


Always remember when you have someone like Ken in your life, don't let it slip away because the love he shows me daily is rare. It's true love, we get on one anothers nerves but we fight for what is ours. That's each other.

I love you Kenneth Robert

Thank You for Loving me.

It Was Pretty Easy

My "recovery" was pretty easy, I went into this thinking I was going to be miserable and in all reality I haven't been.  The first week was slightly challenging because I decided to quit taking Ultram cold turkey and to prevent me from having withdrawal symptoms they put me on clonidine and buspar (for anxiety).  Three days of being a zombie we discovered the clonidine was trying to kill me. I already am on a strong blood pressure medicine on top of a medicine they use for withdrawal symptoms is also used for high blood pressure. So my blood pressure was bottoming out, made me sleepy.  I felt like a walking zombie.  Even after quitting the clonidine, I battled with a little bit of anxiety the first few weeks.  The second week into going cold turkey off of pain killers I had taken for over five years, my daughter left with my sister and her fiance to go on vacation 14 hours away from me. The following day after she left my fiance left to go visit family for the weekend. I was anxious and scared, my baby is gone 14 hours away from me and my fiance and I had a huge blow out not even a week prior.   I learned a lot that weekend he was gone. I learned its ok to spend time apart. I learned that I have to stop sweating the small things. I learned that we all have insecurities. Even men, they just don't show them like women do. 

However it's now been almost 2 months and I am doing great. I love that I am finally back to me. I love keeping my house clean now. I learned to live life again. That is something I am extremely proud of. 

Always remember someone who becomes addicted to something did make the choice to take the "drug", mine were given to me by a doctor.  Others get addicted to street drugs. But before judging someone who becomes what people view as an addict. That yes they chose to take it but they didn't chose to become an addict.  Before judging as well remember it can happen to anyone at any given time.  

That's pretty much all I have for an update. 

Enjoy!!!

Diedra