One Panic Filled Night

Granted the afternoon/night started out semi normal. I mean besides deciding last minute we were having Little Ceasers for supper and that we forgot it was Wednesday night. Meaning tonight is Braydens trail life group night.

Anyways, no parents likes hearing this words, someone is planning on shooting up the school tomorrow.
Immediately went into Momma Bear mode, sent a message to the superintendent with a screenshot of the "warning" from SnapChat. As of right now two children who made the threat were in custody as well as the child who were told by the said children above of their plans. (That child was just interviewed as to what he was all told.)  I must say though in all seriousness the school district as well as the county has handled it well and for extra safety of our children the county officers will be present tomorrow at the school.

The outcome of the two children is still unknown. I want to elaborate on some things from the events that took place tonight.

1. The children who made the threat I have been told by multiple other parents who know the children or  children's parents that these children do whatever they please. They have no discipline at home. From my understanding walk all over town they live in and have been accused as being the suspicious acts of breaking into the local elementary schools buses.

2. The children I have been told again by multiple parents as well as my own child they have been in trouble at school for having bullets in class.

So here's what I'd like to say, children are here because two people had sex and conceived the children. You as a parent know how they are made. Therefore Take care of them, dont let them do as they please because they are out of your hair and you dont have to deal with it. Because you get children like stated above believing they are invincible and can do as they damn well please.

With that being said, I want to end this by saying please for the Love of God be a parent. My child wants to go to school tomorrow and the only reason I am allowing it, is because of the extra security that will be tomorrow.

Rant Over, because its 1:19 am amd  6:40 am comes early for this Occassionally Chaotic Mom.

Goodnight

Diedra

Momma, Why Did Ya Do That?

I am normally the type of person who usually does not get embarrassed easily. Quite frankly I can only come up with a handful of times I have ever been embarrassed.  I mean you grow up with a fairly large breast size for an adolescent girl you kind of brush off embarrassment when your bra size because a topic in the middle of Wal-Mart.

But, oh there's a but. I do remember vividly the time my now 13 year old daughter at two years old embarrassed the shit out of me in the middle of JC Penny's.

Children, shall I say toddlers, have no shame, they can do anything and it be cute. Right?

Wrong..

So there was this time where my then 2 year old and I were standing in line at JC Penny's fixing to check out. Ryleigh at that age was at the stage of learning independence and  wanted to test the waters or shall I say my patience. For the most part we were the last in line waiting to be seen, so anytime I needed to step out of my spot to grab her I got my spot back. This all happened in roughly a 15 minute time frame. The elderly couple in front of me were returning a few things and purchasing as well. The moment they were done checking out and  turning around to step out of the doors, my daughter let one rip. Yes, my then two year old farted so loudly it was a mixed sound between a grown man and a grizzly bear.  As I went to apologize for my daughters loud flatulence she plain as day says with pride, "Mommy, Why'd ya do that for?" The elderly couple looked at me and smiled, not sure in disgust thinking I really just let one rip or because they felt sorry for me as I muttered excuse US in pure embarrassment. That or they took a deep breath, smiled, and held their breath until they walk through the cloud of despair. The check out lady even told me it is ok we all have these types of days, where we just can't hold it in.  All while my daughter went about her merry little way as if nothing just happened.

Either way to this day I have never felt as embarrassed as I did in those few last moments before checking out. I mean I was 50 shades red instead of grey.

Thank You for stopping by and reading about one of the most embarassing moments of my life.

That Occassionally Chaotic Mom,
Diedra

Everyone Has One

Opinions.

Everyone Has An Opinion! We all have our beliefs, we all have things we like, or dislike.

Guess What?  Its ok that we disagree.

What makes an opinion not an opinion? Is when you start your opinion, someone disagrees and then you start pushing information with facts,made up facts, or because you search the web to find one person who made an article on their beliefs that agree with yours to say these ares facts. Hate to break it to ya NOT everything you read on the internet is fact. 

Someone by the name of Kelsi that I don't know from Adam or eve, that sometimes or a few times have shared things they have gone viral, but on one of her comments she said it best.

"Everyone has our opinions, but we like to cram our opinions and thoughts down each others throats, but don't like it when others do it to us."

Really, this world people have gotten to where they don't like talking about what we believe in, don't like sharing our Opinions on anything anymore due to the fact it turns into a heated debate. Then people who do PUSH their opinion on someone to get that person to believe or think the way they do get butthurt when things don't go their way.

I mean seriously face true facts, not everyone is going to like your opinion. Doesn't mean friendships have to be ruined because y'all disagree.  The saddest part is people who don't even know a person who may have commented on a post they came across or a comment they came across due to having mutual friends  begin belittling a person, become angry toward the person and says mean things all because someone disagreed.

To be 100% honest, I have never seen so many people get butthurt over disageed opinions than I have since Trump has been president. But why? Just because you don't like him or disagree with him doesn't mean the next person has to feel that way. 

Opinions people, they aren't set in stone, they do change.

Thanks for stopping by,

The Occassionally Chaotic Mom,

Diedra

Triggers

Not talking about a gun trigger.

Lets talk mental health triggers and triggers for myself that are out of my control.

Lets be real if you suffer with mental illness almost always there is a trigger that you are aware on top of a chemical imbalance. Over time though you may develop more than one trigger.  I use to numb mine with an addiction to pain medicine but being sober I have come to learn what can trigger it.

I often thought that I had general anxiety disorder but in reality I suffer with just anxiety. The only difference between the two is time. My anxiety "flares"up is how I like to describe it. It flares up during very stressful moments or situations in my life.  Whereas to be diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, its the definition of anxiety but lasting 6 months or more. It took me years to realize that my anxiety triggers weren't just my kids. Because I do develop anxiety over my kids situations, the worry wart in me comes out to play.  But stress, I have stress related anxiety. During very difficult stress filled situations my anxiety flares up. These are two triggers that I solely only deal with that are out of my control.  I do have my occasional anxious feelings but for the most part during these times are just things that could have been avoided.

Avoid stress most people say but that isn't always the case. For example its the time of the year and the very month (February) my fiance gets laid off some. Leaving some of his checks short. Therefor, it becomes stressful to me because February is a short month with the same bills, on top of Valentines day and our sons birthday. Its stress I can't avoid even though I know it will happen and know February will always exist and I can't skip over it, so I cant avoid it the stress. Its almost like the fear of the unknown. Stress of knowing we have bills to pay (they come first), a birthday(well of course I wouldnt ever not buy my kids something for their birthdays), and a holiday (no we don't have to buy for but we do and we don't go over board, candy'stuff animal, & two balloons from dollar tree) to pay for.

Now the things I do to help alleviate the anxiety are different and a few things that I do to help lighten the stress will be up on a different post.

Do you suffer with anxiety? If so do you know what or have you learned your triggers?

With all that being said, I do know people that suffer with anxiety that have never figured out or can't pin point what may be triggering it. As well as I know there are people who are just full of themselves and want someone to feel sorry for them their for they use anxiety as an excuse to gain attention. Which sucks because it makes it hard for people who does suffer with it hard to understand.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, have questions, just ask.

The Occassionally Chaotic Mom,

Diedra

So Unfair

Life is so unfair, or shall I say death is unfair. Today was a normal Friday, woke up tired like usual due to not being able to sleep at night. Got the kids off to school and came home. Got on Facebook to see a very sad post made from a friend of mine. To discover her child, 19 years old had passed away this morning. I will not explain how because I don't know for sure. I will say it wasn't a murder or anything like that. Wanted to say that before continuing with my thoughts.

The passing of my dear friends child has rattled our community. We are all in shock, such a striving young lady with her whole life ahead of her. Why? Why her? My friends don't deserve to have to feel this heartache. They don't deserve to have to plan a funeral. No parent does.

But God why?

I continue to Pray, because that's what I was taught. And I do believe in power of prayer.

However, as an adult my faith is shaken, I won't deny my belief in Jesus Christ.  But its situations like this that make me question, why?
Why, If the Lord knows our future why put us through the heart break.  My heart literally has broken today like it has for our community and surrounding communities because that's the impact this precious baby has left but I can't even begin to imagine the heart ache my friends are feeling. For privacy reason I will not say their names but please if you read this and pray please lift this family up in your prayers.

Thank You!

The Occassionally Chaotic {heart-broken} Mom

Diedra

It Isn't Always Easy

Afternoons like today forever just leave a hole in my heart. Because my son has been acting out at school, this is the second time in less than a week. Yes as parents no matter his diagnosis we discipline him and he gets punished for his wrong doings. Today was no different he got punished for being disrespectful, which like the other day lead into an emotional roller coaster of all the emotions thrown together.  But both times after going through the emotions and telling every little lie he could to justify him being disresepctful the one thing that didn't change is how heartbroken, frustrated, and feeling like he is ready to give up and quit school in the 4th grade because in his words "He can't keep up, he's struggling!" He struggles in math and he knows it, in return the only emotion he knows how to express is frustration. He is seeing a counselor for play therapy. Which due to holidays and the doctor facility changing to a new provider scheduling has been messed up and he hasn't seen her since the end of november. I'll update ya more after Tuesday when we see his primary physician.  But its the hardest thing for me as a parent to see my child break down and hate school because of math.  It kills me.

If you are new an unaware my son is Autistic (only affects him socially) and ADHD which is why he struggles in math because a focusing issue.

Here are a few more post on Braydens diagnosis.

One
Two

With all that being said if you have ever dealt with a child who is Autistic and has ADHD then you will understand what I mean by overstimulated.  Due to being extremely overstimulated today, its nearly one in the morning even with his nightly dose of melatonin that was given roughly around 7 p.m. he just fell asleep a few minutes ago. But doesnt mean hes sound asleep he could get up 3 or 4 more times.

I will say I struggle with him and my other child, Ryleigh. I will being doing a update on her as well.

I want to add a disclaimer. I wouldn't trade this life with anyone. I love both my children for who they are and accept them for who they are. I also with or without a diagnosis will not tolerate them being disrespectful to adults. Because we struggle at home with the normal teenager/preteen disrespect. They get put in their place. I do have my opinions on certain situations and I do and have seen with my own eyes that children with disabilities get craddled and I have witness parents say my child can't help it they are autistic and they have ADHD.  Yes, I do understand a child who is fully on the spectrum does things differently.  But I also know in our experience you have to make them do things that sometimes they don't wanna do. Why? Because with or without a diagnosis they are still human.

Now Lord be with me that I get some restful sleep in the next 4 hours because I gotta be up to take my momma two to three hours away from home depending on traffic and if she closes her eyes so I can go three miles over the speed limit.

Goodnight y'all!!!
The Occassionally Chaotic Mom
Diedra