Mental Illness

Mental illness disorders, yes there is a wide range of disorders that are labeled as a mental illness, but it affects your mood, the way you think, and your behavior. A lot of times people who suffer with a mental illness disorder doesn't notice it. It a lot of times are often seen by outsiders looking in.  Its not some sick disease you can catch from someone and it affects people differently than others.  What I am about to share is my struggles with mental illness along with my own opinion. My opinion alone may shock you.

As a teenager I was diagnosed simply with bipolar. Back then I wasn't medicated because mine was affected more by hormone change, I was young, and in all honesty was told suck it up. Which ultimately in the end helped me more than it harmed me.  After that it was never really spoke of. Until I had my daughter at 20 years old, and I suffered horribly with post partum depression until I was diagnosed by a psychologist as to having post partum blues. I had it almost a year and a half. It took anti-depressants and counseling to help see my way through a very dark hole. Mental Illness doesn't discriminate against anyone. Neither does, addiction (I have touched on that a little on my blog, but willing to open up more about it.) However, after my counseling and anti-depressants I became "normal" again but I would experience moments where I could feel sad but have no reason why. I had moments where I hated everything around me but no reason why.  I have moments, doesn't mean I am depressed all the time. Matter of fact, I have been diagnosed recently with Mild Manic Bipolar Depression due to environmental changes, it is controlled tho. I don't take medicine for it, I chose not to this time, because unlike some people I've learned how to cope with it. I know when it's coming on, I can feel it. I lose motivation to do anything, I lose the desire to want to get out of my house.  But with that being said. I will say that I suffer more with it in the winter time.  That's why it's due to environmental changes. It's because for example days like today where it's dreary, wet, cold, miserable outside. I become irritable, it's like come on mother nature I need some sun light.  But it doesn't affect me horribly until we start getting FRIGID temperatures, and we get tons of snow and ice. Where, I am from, that don't happen often but the years it does, it happens all winter long to the point I become trapped. I don't like feeling trapped.  That's where I get to wanting to feel something, I become manic. I want to get out. I want to do anything in my power to feel something. But just because I have this diagnosis doesn't mean I suffer everyday with it, some people do. I'm lucky enough I suffer rarely with my depression but I do suffer with general anxiety . 

I get anxious out of no where because nothing seems to be going as planned.  My biggest trigger tho, is my kids, there where abouts, if it's storming and making sure everything is in place in case something happens. It' sucks during times like that, but I make it through it. 

I do however feel like an oddball because I experience depression and mental illness differently than what you usually hear with those that suffer. 

Now, its time to get a few things done and get ready to go get my son from school later. 

The Occasionally Chaotic Mom

Diedra