Sunday, November 23, 2014

Every Single Mother Of Boys!

Every single mother raising a boy should know the following 10 things. I'm sure there are more than ten but a while back I done this as an assignment.  Our teacher gave us a bonus assignment on raising boys because she was pregnant with her first baby and there was a stem in the apple. Just for fun and if all ten things about raising boys we got an easy 50 points.  Why not? Good grades get to warn another female the joys of raising boys.  I know she wasn't a single mom, hell she was sporting that huge rock on her finger. I knew she would have help teaching him how to be a man. Not every woman does because we are well face it we are woman. We have not got a functioning penis nor besides one thing knows how it works. Therefore, I have had five going on six years experience on raising a boy by myself. *Ken, whom is referred to as daddy or Ken Daddy is the man who has help raise my kids and have taught me how to raise a boy! Along with some help from my dad but face it he may be a man but poor guy raised two girls.

Although as woman the last thing to cross our mind when becoming a parent is all the work that goes into it especially if your doing it alone.  Raising boys you go into it blindsided. Here I present to you 10 things to look forward to when raising a boy.  (Don't be alarmed if some have you laughing hysterically!) 



10. Diaper Changing 101 
      •As woman we having nothing down there that sticks out away from our body. Prepare yourself until ya get use to changing a boy you will get pee'd on. Remember the pee pee goes downward in the diaper. Meaning that you will have to touch your sons junk with your finger to position it right.  If not if will veer off to one side and moments after you get that new diaper on and you lay him on your chest for night night bonding time. You will be right back up changing not only the babies clothing but yours as well. •Poop changing aka massive explosions.  Just like little girls exploding getting it into their hoot-n-nannies. When the boys explodes be prepared to lift the penis and ball sac. 

9. Boys are Pigs!!
Brace your self, that's right babies eat.  Every two to three hours, thats a breeze. Just wait especially if you had a girl first. Boys, eat way differently than girls. Matter of fact my son was not even a full month old and my doctor put him on cereal. Big NoNo right? Wrong, lack of sleep is a big NONO to a parent that has to sleep to function. Especially if the boy isn't your first child. Take a nap when they do is impossible when having to chase the toddler around who refuses to nap.  If the boy is all you have by all means sleep when he sleeps. Im no professional but wait at least a month to put a baby on cereal. You first timers fruit loops don't count. •only feed them rice starting out. As infants their body is learning how to process food. And the oatmeal is hard and heavier on their stomachs. In other words their bodies don't digest it as well. Also when introducing new food when it's time. Start one at a time to watch for allergies. 

8. Let's hope your not scared of getting dirty. 

  Let's face it, when it comes to boys you will be getting dirty. Whether it's from that pee pee not position right in the diaper (refer back to number 10) to them being toddler ages and mud is the first thing they learn outside to play with.  Don't be alarm when giving your boy a bath and what ya thought might have been where he pooped his britches. Nope just mud. Don't be alarmed to see dark funky looking stuff hanging out every nook and crannies especially belly buttons and ears. It's mid. 

7. Hope you like everything boyish!!! In conjunction with number 8, boys play with boy toys. Your house will be swamp with legos, men-men (spiderman, skylanders, power rangers, and can't forget the TMNT.), and every "manly"/"boyish" color known to man. (Unless ya have a little girl as well then you just have a whole freaking rainbow in your house.) Note: It is okay if your son plays with a babydoll. What are ya afraid of? Him being a good daddy in the future.  Train them early ladies.  My son plays house with his sister and her dolls "ally" and "Bella" and "jace", i promise dads out there who are scared they may turn gay. That's their decision when they are older that them playing babydoll  didn't do it.  PS: I'm sure mom has a picture some where of him in a cute bow, even make up. 

6. Potty Training....
 Back to number 10 referring to diapers. Yes, ladies there will come a time and date that ya will have to potty train your boy. Unless you have done this a million and one times. In my personal opinion boys are so hard to potty train.  Remember those of us that have a girl as well and them following us to the bathroom to watch us potty.  Guess what? Unlike woman boys stand to Pee.  Trying to teach a boy to sit on the toilet to pee on top of teaching him how to tuck it down, it becomes a disaster.  Before ya know he's done soiled your shirt again let alone the whole bathroom has been spritz in yellow pee. They are smart and know they are boys and boys stand up to pee. (Pooping is a whole other story in itself) NOTE: Teach 'em young to raise the toilet seat or ya might find yourself in a wet situation later.  As well as being a gentleman and putting it down when your done. 

5. Drama Kings 

Boys are just as dramatic as girls. If things don't go their way, brace yourself again, because for the next 45 minutes you will be listening to an all out dramatic fit.  Crying, screaming, face raging red, all out temper tantrum. Don't be alarmed if this happens at the grocery store with millions, it seems, of people watching. Don't worry we've all been there, no matter what gender, they all throw fits in public places. 

4.  What's fear when it comes to boys?
Boys have absolutely NO FEAR.  Not sure where it comes from but they do things differently than girls.  They will hide in some of the most awkward places, them places that even make you feel as if the boogey man is going to jump out.  They will jump from the top of the couch trying to attempt making it across the coffee table. They will fall countless of times outside. Jump off ladders off of bunk beds and swimming pools. Face it number 3 is a must. 

3. Have those insurance cards ready!!!

With having no fear comes a lot of bumps, bruises, scraps, and cuts. (Some cases broken bones).  Make sure ya have a great insurance plan because they will know you by first name in the ER.  (So far we've only made one ER trip to have a rock removed out of his lip and 8 stitches. This was at age 2 but guarantee we have been to the doctor office quite a bit.)

2. Football or Karate?
With raising a boy comes learning how to play very rough and draining sports.  Don't know how to throw a baseball, football, or shoot a hoop. Well guess what single mommies ya gotta learn to help them achieve their goals. Even if it isn't a goal they are trying to reach. I couldn't count on two hands and two feet how many times out of the blue my son has said, "Mommy, let's play ball!"

1. Raising a boy (any child at that) is a very Rewarding Feeling. 

Last but not least, as a single mommy raising a boy I was completely dumbfounded. I have learned that raising a boy in reality isn't hard just takes ya out of your comfort zone as a woman.  Remember theres a jerk out there that helped you conceive the boy and it isn't his fault "daddy" walked out.  In the end you will raise a man. One that seen you struggle doing this alone. So that one day when he has sex and gets a girl pregnant, leaving is the last thing on his mind.
That alone teaching my son to be a man is extremely rewarding to me.   The most rewarding of all is my five year little monkey is a 100% mommas boy.  

So don't let people fool ya when they say boys are a breeze to raise. In reality they had their husbands help raise them (i give those men props). But as a single mom teaching a boy to be a man one day is a struggle because your a woman. But remember use your past mishaps as a quide. No child is a mistake never regret the sperm donor. However use that as a guide to show him what not to do. Don't be scared to let another man in because they arent all the same and in my situation. Ken has been the best not only soon to be husband but both my kids will tell you he's a great daddy, he's their daddy. 


Also read, Raising a boy is a breeze they say, to see what my boy was up to. 




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